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"Don’t Let the Bed Bugs Bite Chapter Five"
Meghan sucked the long strings of melted cheese off her fingers and reached for another slice.
"Nice to see everything hasn’t affected your appetite." Cordelia said.
"What’s that supposed to mean?" Meghan demanded.
"Nothing," Cordy shrugged and gave her best innocent smile.
"Just because I refuse to subscribe to the sexist demands that all women should be pencil thin and bulimic doesn’t mean I should be ashamed of enjoying a good meal."
"Said the slightly overweight ageing woman," Cordy muttered.
"What?!"
"Ladies! And I use that term loosely." Angel walked in from the kitchen where he had been watching the others eat. "Cordy, you’ve already eaten three slices of pizza let Meghan have the last one."
"Fine." Cordelia crossed her arms and tried pouting for a few seconds.
When that failed to achieve anything she relaxed her pose and slumped back on the cushions.
"So what’s the plan, man?" Doyle asked between mouthfuls of garlic bread.
"Say it, don’t spray it." Cordelia protested wiping non-existent crumbs off the sofa.
"We’re going to stand watch over Meghan," Angel said. "One person awake at all times. When the bug moves it will go quickly, so we need to be prepared."
"Will we even see it?" Doyle asked.
"Yeah, what does it look like?" Cordy added. "And how fast does it move?"
"Maybe you should show her. "Meghan said.
"Are you sure?" Angel moved across the room to stand in front of Meghan.
She shrugged. "Why not, why should I be the only one freaking out?"
"After what I seen at your apartment, Meghan, believe me you ain’t." Doyle said.
"You know maybe I don’t need to see it." Cordelia said. "As long as you guys know what it looks like . . ."
"No, you need to see it." Angel picked up the ALS and gestured for Doyle to get the lights.
Meghan turned around and pulled her hair away from her shoulders. "Get ready to freak, Cordelia," she said.
Cordy clutched her half-full can of bug spray as the lights went out. "I’m ready."
The ghostly blue-white light flickered in Angel’s hands before steadying across Meghan’s back revealing the spider-like bug.
"Eeww, gross!" Cordy squealed. "Demon hickey from hell!"
Doyle turned the lights back on. "That’s not what a demon hickey looks like. At least," he glanced towards Cordelia. "That’s what I’ve heard."
"You know Doyle’s right," Meghan turned around. "Not about the hickey thing, I have no idea about that, but will we even see it?"
"As far as I can work out," Angel said placing the ALS on the floor. "It’s only invisible on its victim. Once it’s off it will look like any other bug."
"Uh, no!" Cordelia said. "That isn’t like any bug I’ve seen. And I’ve seen some weird things, believe me."
"Me neither." Doyle said. "How will we catch it?"
"Catch it? I say we stomp on its head and kill it!" Cordy said.
"We can’t," Angel explained. "We need it to track down the demon."
"So like I said how do we catch it?" Doyle looked at each of them in turn.
"With a catcher’s mitt and a ten foot pole?" Cordy asked hopefully.
"With these." Angel pulled a glass jar with a screw top lid and a pair of kitchen tongs from his duster, which was draped over the back of a chair.
"That’s it?" Cordy said. "No hocus pocus? No mystical box with doodads all over it?"
"’Fraid not just good old fashioned kitchen stuff." Angel waved the said ‘stuff’ around.
"Well I’m disappointed, anyone else?" Cordy looked about the room.
Doyle and Meghan nodded. "A little." "Yeah, I’d say a little." They said.
"Well if it makes you guys feel any better," Angel said. "When we reach the demon I’m going to use a flame thrower on it."
Cordy squealed in delight and clapped her hands. "Much better!"
Angel shook his head at Cordy’s antics. No matter how many years he lived he would never understand women and a certain Cordelia Chase in particular.
"Now all we have to do is wait." Meghan said.
"You know if a certain person embraced the 20th Century a bit more," Cordy looked pointedly at Angel. "We could have rented a movie."
"Yeah a big soppy chick flick," Doyle said. "Now that would have scared the bug right off of Meghan’s neck!"
"Oh and you would have referred some ‘ug-ug’ he-man action movie?" Cordy said.
"Yeah as a matter of fact I would have."
"I’ll admit a nice foreign film might have been nice." Angel said.
The other three turned and stared at him.
"Or not." He muttered.
Cordelia waved a dismissive hand about. "It’s a rhetorical question anyway since we don’t have a DVD player."
"I don’t see why we need one when the VCR still works perfectly fine." Angel fell back into the old argument he always had with Cordy.
"Yeah for a guy whose over two hundred years old, maybe. You know DVDs have extras like director’s insights," Cordy said. "If I know what Scorsese or Coppola is thinking it might help me get a job. You know a real boss would do whatever it takes to help his employees get ahead."
"Your job is answering the phone, Cordelia."
"No, I’m talking about my other job."
"Acting?" Meghan asked.
"That and scheming to get Brad Pitt away from that Jennifer Aniston."
"Yeah, he’s not bad," Meghan said. "But I prefer someone like Brendan Fraser or Ewan McGregor."
Doyle scowled. "I don’t like any of those guys. I much prefer Tom Cruise."
"That’s because you’re both so short." Cordy said.
"I always liked Rock Hudson and Cary Grant myself." Angel said.
"Who?" Cordy asked.
Angel turned to Cordelia in disbelief. "You’ve never heard of them?!"
"Oh
"Technically speaking so am I, Cordy," Angel said.
Cordy blew a raspberry. "Whatever."
Angel shook his head. It was always the little things that reminded him just how old he was compared to his friends.
"Listen," Meghan said. "I hate to bring this happening party to a close but what are the sleeping arrangements?"
"You and Cordy can have my bed and Doyle the sofa." Angel said.
"And where will you be sleeping?" Meghan asked.
"I won’t be, I’ll be standing guard."
"Hang on a minute," Cordy butted in. "I’m not sleeping with ‘bug girl’ here."
Angel overrode Meghan’s protests at the ‘bug girl’ comment. "Fine, Cordy, you and Doyle have the bed and Meghan can use the sofa."
"I am not sleeping with Doyle!"
In the end it was decided that Cordy would have the bed, Meghan the sofa and Doyle found himself bunking down on the floor with some pillows and the spare blanket.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Angel sat in the darkness listening to the quiet sounds of his friends sleeping. Technically it was supposed to be Doyle’s turn to be awake but Angel had let him sleep. It not like he didn’t trust the Irishman, far from it, it just seemed right that he kept watch and let the others rest. If Cordelia were awake she would have said it was his broody lone wolf nature, the need to ‘go it alone’, that stopped him from waking anyone. And she probably would have been right.
Of course it had nothing to do with the fact he was slightly uncomfortable with so many people so defenceless, so vulnerable, around him. It had been a long time since anyone was relaxed enough to sleep in his presence without some holy water or a stake handy. Not since Buffy . . .
He shied away from that thought. These people trusted him; they were his friends. Oh they knew what he as capable of; Cordy in particular had seen him at his worst. But they still accepted him as a person. He had watched them tonight joking and squabbling with each other as they ate and he had been a part of that. It had been a long time since he really felt like he belonged to something. In a weird way they were becoming his family.
And do we remember what happened to your last family? The monster inside asked.
Angel frowned in the darkness, he knew the beast wanted to rip their throats out and bathe in their blood. That it wanted nothing more than to destroy anything good in life. Perhaps he was guarding them against himself more than anything else.
The night was a lousy time for introspection; maybe that was why vampires as a group were so depressing?
Meghan whimpered in her sleep causing Angel to sit up straighter in his chair. He watched as she began to toss and turn on the sofa, caught up in the beginnings of a dream. Looks like thinking time was over and soon he would be able to see some action. There was nothing like hitting something hard to relieve the tension.
"Finally!" he whispered.
Standing up he gently nudged Doyle in the side before moving across the room.
"Wha’?" Doyle sat up arms flaying about. "Where is it?"
"Still attached."
Rubbing his eyes Doyle looked over to see the dark shadow of his friend leaning over Meghan.
"Ya thinkin’ of mebbe giving her an extra scare looming about like that?"
Angel acknowledged Doyle’s comment by moving back a few steps. "She’s not awake yet," he said. "It might be a false alarm but I thought it would be better to be prepared."
"Yeah, thanks." Doyle stood up rubbing his neck. "My back is killin’ me. How can anyone sleep on the floor like that?"
"You get used to it."
"Not if I have anything to say about it."
The lamp in Angel’s bedroom flicked on and a half-asleep Cordelia appeared at the doorway with her bug spray firmly in her hand. "What’s going on?"
"Nothing," Angel said. "Go back to sleep."
"Is it bug time?" she stepped out further into the room.
"Could be." Doyle said.
"In that case I’m getting dressed. Last thing I want is some demon bug crawling over my bare feet." Cordelia turned and went back into the bedroom.
"Didn’t I just tell her to go back to sleep?" Angel asked.
"You’ve known her longer than I have, man, has she ever done what she’s told?"
Instead of answering Angel gestured for Doyle to pick up the ALS at his feet. The Irishman turned it on and handed the device over. "Hope this works."
"Me too!"
"Did I miss anything?" a fully dressed Cordelia came into the room with the bug spray in one hand and an upturned chair, the legs pointed towards the sofa, in the other.
"It’s a bug, Cordy, not a lion." Doyle said.
Cordelia rather self-consciously sat the chair back on the floor and went to stand with the others around the sofa. All three looked down at the restless woman.
It was Cordy who spoke first. "This is a kinda –"
"Voyeuristic? Yes I know." Angel said.
"I was going to say freaky but your word works too."
"Is it ready yet?" Doyle said.
Angel flicked the torch over Meghan revealing the bug as she tossed in her sleep. "Not quite."
"You think or you know?" Cordy asked.
"This isn’t an exact science."
"So that’s a ‘think’ then?"
Angel handed Doyle the ALS and pulled out the jar and tongs. "I’ll grab it as it comes off," he looked up at the others. "Unless anyone else wants to try?"
Cordy took two steps back. "Hell no!"
"I’m good," Doyle said.
Angel unscrewed the lid as they stood around waiting.
"Just how long is this going to take?" Cordy asked after a few minutes. "Because if I don’t get at least seven hours sleep I get puffy eyes."
"We’re not even sure if it will happen tonight." Said Doyle.
"Oh enough of this!" Cordy leant down and yelled, "wake up!"
Meghan’s eyes snapped open and, as she took in the three figures looming over her, she let out a strangled scream.
"Did I help?" Cordy asked as Meghan scrambled backwards over one end and off the sofa.
"God, you scared me!" Meghan said.
"That is the plan." Cordy edged around until she was standing behind Meghan, keeping the furniture between her and any bugs.
Doyle waved the ALS about the floor looking before finally resting its glare on Meghan. "I can still see the bug on her."
"Are you all right?" Angel asked.
"Just dandy," Meghan replied. "No luck yet?"
"No!" Cordy said from behind her. "We’ll be here all night. You know what you need? I nice big scare."
Meghan swivelled around. "That’s the last thing I want."
"Really, it will do you good."
"Like what?" Doyle asked, causing Meghan to turn again to look at him.
Cordy used the opportunity to glare at Angel. As soon as she had his attention Cordy pulled her ‘grrr’ vampire face at him and looked pointedly at Meghan.
Doyle seeing what was going on started talking loudly as a distraction.
Angel shook his head.
This caused Cordy to bounce on her feet in frustration. She repeated the gesture quickly followed by her best ‘come on, do it for the team!’ expression.
"No!" Angel said out loud. The one and only time Meghan had seen his true face he had been delirious with bloodlust and had almost killed her.
"No what?" Meghan looked towards him.
"I won’t." he had promised himself he would never do that to her again. Once was bad enough, but wasn’t that the point?
"Won’t what?" Meghan wanted to know. "Guys, what the hell are you talking about?"
"Just do it!" Cordelia was becoming frustrated with the conversation.
As Meghan turned away from Angel – briefly to see if things made any more sense to the others – his face rippled into his vampire visage. He just hoped that afterwards she would be able to forgive him. "Meghan."
Turning back her vision was filled with protruding fangs, yellowed eyes and
bumpy forehead. But the worst thing of all was the look of sheer indifference
on Angel’s face. Like a predator looking at its next meal, like a scientist
staring down at a specimen. I care nothing about you, the look said. You’re
just meat.
Centuries of instincts screamed at her to run, hide and if all else fails find a large pointed stick.
Her nightmare came rushing back all at once and Meghan let go with a terrifying scream. An ice-cold tingle spread on the back of her neck and a sharp tugging sensation followed.
Angel, still in vamp mode, knocked her to the ground and out of his way. Both Cordy and Doyle jumped in different directions as he dove forward with the tongs outstretched.
"You got it?" Cordy asked, a little surprised to find she was standing on the sofa.
Doyle lunged for the lights turning them on in time to see Angel stand up screwing the lid in place on the jar.
"I’ve got it." He said his back turned to them. It took a moment to regain his composure after all the excitement but when he did Angel turned to Meghan. A look of compassion and sympathy on his now human face.
Meghan stood up, if a little shakily, furtively wiping away the tears of terror from her cheeks. She reached back and felt her neck. "So it worked?"
"Meghan –" Angel started to say taking a step towards her.
She held out one hand to stop his advance. "It worked right? Cause it sure felt like something coming off my neck."
"Yes, it worked."
"Good." Meghan made a fist with her right hand and punched Angel hard in the stomach bringing the vampire to his knees. "You deserved that."
Looking up from his prone position Angel nodded. "I know."
"Woah!" Cordy sounded impressed. "You sure can pack a punch! Where did you learn to fight like that?"
"Two older brothers," Meghan explained. "Toughens you up."
"I bet." Doyle said. "You ever thought about boxing as a sport?"
Angel stood up; the jar still clenched in his hand. He knew Meghan hadn’t forgiven him just yet, that there would come a time later on when they would need to talk things through. But she was a professional there was still a job to complete, she would wait.
As if to confirm his thoughts Meghan clicked her fingers at him. "Give me the jar."
Angel handed it over and watched as she held it up to the light.
"So you’re the source of all my problems?" she said to it.
"Well d’uh!" Cordelia said then stopped. "Oh wait, that was a rhetorical question wasn’t it?"
"Sure doesn’t look like much." Meghan was saying. She went to hand it back to Angel but Cordy hopped off the sofa, grabbing it as she passed.
"Ugly thing." She threateningly waved her can of spray at the bug. "Say," she peered closely at the jar's contents. "It looks a little different."
"Let me see." Doyle took the jar and stared into it. "Yeah, it is a little different."
The bug had obviously grown in size – to about the size of a small child’s fist – and its colouring had changed. Instead of being uniformly red it was now covered in blue blotches and seemed to pulse in time to Doyle’s heartbeat. "Actually it’s givin’ me the creeps." He hurriedly handed it back to Angel.
"Hard to believe it was attached to me." Meghan said.
"Yeah!" Cordy looked from Meghan to the bug. "You never knew it was there?"
Meghan shook her head.
"So now what, everyone goes home and we all live happily ever after until the next big disaster comes our way?" Cordy said.
"Now, we hunt down the demon and kill it." Angel said.
"Ugh," Cordelia slapped her forehead in frustration. "I knew we forgot something."
"Didn’t you say somethin’ about the bug leading us to the demon?" Doyle said. When Angel nodded he added. "But it’s in the jar. What are we gonna do ask it directions?"
Instead of replying Angel held the jar up for all to see. Inside the bug squatted on the bottom of the container, inert. Standing in one spot Angel began to turn in a circle. As his arm swept past the kitchen area the bug began throwing itself frantically against the glass jar.
"It’s psychically linked to the demon," Angel explained. "All we have to do is follow its movements."
"Homing bug!" Cordelia exclaimed.
"Something like that." Angel said.
"Well," Meghan spoke up. "Let’s make like the big bad boogie monster hunters and go!"
Doyle turned to stare at Meghan. "Boogie monster?"
She shrugged back at him. "Hey, I’m still new to this, remember?"
"Let’s just grab some weapons and go," Angel said. "I want to have this done before sunrise."
è CHAPTER SIX