Life Eternal

 

I like parks, a weird thing to confess I know, but then again I have never been what most people would deem normal. I don’t mean to say that I am one of those trench-coated men who hang about toilets, more that I love to just sit and watch humanity pass me by.

They are my hobby, you could say, my passion, my reason for being. All of life makes its way through a park from the baby in the pram to the old man feeding the pigeons. Young lovers, families, students, everyone from business suited power brokers to the downtrodden and homeless.

I think of parks as being a manifestation of all that’s right with the human race, nothing bad happens here. Not until night falls, then all of mankind’s darker tendencies creep out. But I avoid parks after dark. I have seen the worst in man, time and time again. I no longer seek it out.

So I just sit here and watch life pass me by. Content to just watch, confidant that they will not fall to darkness, that faith will prevail. I have sacrificed too much to believe anything else.

I hope I don’t sound too lonely, sitting here. I have had more than my fair share of friends. But nearly all of them have gone, now. In fact I have found that friendships are a lot like civilisations. They start off tentative and unsure then grow in confidence and power. They can move Heaven and Earth and leave you with a feeling of strength and an almost sense of immortality, that your bonds will be forever, that they will never end. But they inevitably do, decay sets in, doubt, deceit and eventually the friendship falters and falls. Leaving behind hollow feelings and bittersweet memories.

And just like a fallen civilisation it is left to others to pick over the bones and tell the tale of something great that once was.

Listen to me, I do sound lonely. But I am not! There are two constants in my life, my Father and my oldest friend. I have drifted away from both on occasion, swearing never to return, but I always do. In fact, here comes one of them now.

"Larry!"

He looks up and sees me with a smile. We are very alike in many ways; we could almost pass as brothers. Same olive complexion, close cropped black curly hair, he has a moustache while I favour a beard. His eyes are of a lighter brown but they bear the same heavy burden of truth as mine.

"My friend," he clasps my hand in his and sits by my side. "How goes the world?"

"Same as always, how was your movie?"

Larry laughs. "Heavy on blood and guts and low on substance and plot. Lately it seems that effects are more important than suspense. I miss the old Hammer horror days."

Larry has a fondness for horror and vampire movies, I guess I can understand.

"I don’t know where they get their ideas from," he continued.

"Same place they always do. A bit of truth, a dash of legend and a whole truck load of imagination and hearsay."

Larry gave a short bark of laughter. "You sound bitter, JC."

"They’ve made a mockery of my Father’s work."

"Yet you still love them."

"It is who I am, Lazarus." I use his full name, which he hates me doing. Sure enough his face twists at my mentioning it.

"Please, old friend," he says. "You know how I hate it when you remind me."

As if he could ever forget. As if he could erase the memories that he was, in essence, a guinea pig to my Father’s plans.

My Father. I say those words as if they have little meaning. My Father, the Creator, the one who made the universe. The power behind the Holy Trinity. But even my Father is not as all knowing as He might lead you to believe. When He made this universe He unintentionally bound Himself to its laws. One if which is that the truly dead always stay dead. In a sense, entropy is the true God here.

Realising this He was forced to improvise, something He hates to do, I might add. He engaged in a sleight of hand, manufactured a cosmic loophole if you will.

You see when I died on that cross I had to come back to life. It was important for mankind to believe in my Father’s powers and His far-reaching hand. So He had me test His theory on another first, and that person was Lazarus. I raised him from the grave, but I didn’t give him back life. Instead I gave him a facsimile of life. I made him the first undead creature to walk the planet. And when he proved to be such a success my Father did the same to me.

Does that surprise you? It shouldn’t, after all He was more than happy to send me to my death. He is a great believer in the long-term picture, in the greater good. And I the faithful son played my part. To all intents and purposes I rose again from the grave and proved my Father’s powers and might. But I do not truly live. Lazarus and I were the first and we will not be the last, but that comes later.

"JC?"

Larry breaks into my thoughts. He knows me very well and has realised that I am lost in the past. I find myself spending more and more time there. This might explain my decision to write about it. To finally tell the truth as it should have been told centuries ago.

"I am fine."

"Really? Excuse me if I think otherwise."

I find myself nodding and stop. Looking out across the park I watch the children at play. "I am thinking of writing down the truth."

"The secret hidden Gospel according to Jesus Christ? They would never believe you."

"Probably not, but I feel the need anyway."

"Does," Larry glanced upwards. "He know anything about this?"

"I don’t know. I haven’t been talking to Him lately."

"The only person on the planet with a guaranteed direct line to God and you don’t use it." There is much affection in his disapproving face. "What will we do with the pair of you?"

I notice the small black yarmulke on his head. "Feeling a tad religious today are we?"

Larry reached up and touched the felt cap a little self consciously. "What can I say," he said. "I woke up this morning and had a yearning for the old days. You shouldn’t forget where you came from."

I snorted. "Like I ever could!" My good friend has dabbled in just about every major and minor religion throughout the years but he always comes home to Judaism.

"They’re all the same anyway," I added. "I just wish the world would realise that."

"They will, JC, one day and then what will you have to gripe about?"

"Going out tonight?" I changed the subject yet again. A nasty habit I’ve acquired over the years to avoid any unwanted subject.

"My date!" he glanced at his watch. "Thanks for reminding me."

"A good Jewish girl is she?"

"Catholic, Buddhist, Jew, does it matter?" He laughs. "Do good girls still exist?" he turns serious for a moment. "Will you be all right?"

"Of course. I’ll just sit here a while and collect my thoughts, then I’ll go home."

Larry looks a bit doubtful but doesn’t protest. He truly is a good friend.

"All right. Don’t wait up for me." He finally said.

I watch him leave before I settle back on the park bench and remember . . .

I think my disciples suspected all was not as it seemed that day after the crucifixion. One or two definitely did but they, like me, bowed to the will of God. I briefly went into hiding with them and used what little time I had to try and convey the true message of God, but they were never good at listening. Not that it would have made much difference anyway. You’d be horrified to know how little they ultimately had to do with the birth of Christianity. That will teach me to choose dreamers and free thinkers; they have no head for business. Ultimately the money-makers and politicians took charge and made all the important decisions. It was they who wrote the Bible as they thought it should be, so the message was lost. Most of that book is full of lies and deceptions. I tried to change it but they knew of my existence and took actions to ensure I could never interfere. I even think it was they who started the rumours about vampires as a way of ensuring no one would ever listen to me.

It was they who wrote that I transubstantiated, or ascended to Heaven. It was a clever ploy, after all if I was ‘up there sitting at my Father’s right hand’ then who was the madman proclaiming to be me running around down here on Earth? He could only be an impostor, a servant of evil intent on drawing away men from the one true God. So I just faded into the desert for a time before reappearing years later with another name. If anyone noted that I bore some small resemblance to the godman Jesus Christ I just shrugged, smiled and changed the subject.

I met up with Lazarus during my little exile in the desert. He had been driven out of his village years ago. For a while I still tried to preach the ‘true word’, even started up my own religion a few times. But the money-makers always put a stop to that. I guess they never forgave me for that little incident in the Temple. In the end I just gave up, gave up on everything for a while, there. Not even my Father could convince me otherwise. I saw what man had done with my sacrifice, my gift to them, if I could have called down the wrath of God, then and there, I would have happily wiped them off the face of the planet.

But that is all in the past as it should be. I have forgiven much and I now live, if you could call it that, in the hopes that humanity will strive to be worthy of its better nature.

I am sure you are more curious about what I am, what Larry is. We were the original undead, but not as you think we should be. Much knowledge of my kind is shrouded in lies and misconceptions. And I should probably say right now that we aren’t the only ones. When my Father created his ‘loophole’ others stepped in to exploit it.

You see Newton was right. ‘For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction’ and for every deity – every concept – there must be an opposite. And while the Bible might like you to think otherwise the Morning Star – or Lucifer as he likes to call himself – isn’t some fallen Angel but in fact another aspect of my Father. His Dark Side, to steal a popular concept. A side of Him that appeared in the Old Testament as the ‘fire and brimstone’ God before he came to His senses and tried a different approach.

So when Larry and myself were created it let Lucifer do the very same. The universe is big on equal opportunities, if nothing else. No one else can make the undead; you can’t just suck someone’s blood and make it happen. Oh no, it takes great power to cheat the universe, not even I can achieve such a thing without my Father’s help. But while my Father has been content to just have Larry and myself as immortal, Lucifer has spread his gift far and wide. And they, in turn, have accepted the concept of vampires first thought up by my enemies and revelled in it. Lucifer doesn’t want my message out anymore than the money-makers did. Immortal saviour or blood sucking demon, you be the judge. Before today which one would you have believed?

I’m sure you are curious, my non-existent readers, as to the real truth. What are vampires? What is the true message that has been lost for so long? Well, vampires are easy. Pretty much all you think you know is a lie! And the rest is twisted to suit their purposes.

Take blood for an example. We don’t drink it; we don’t need it to survive. Why would we, after all we’re all dead! In fact we don’t eat, in any sense, at all. We can consume food for a few hours to pass as human but eventually we throw it back up again. You can’t digest with a dead stomach; I guess that makes us the world’s first bulimics. But blood is still important to the process, in that sense the creators of the vampire legends almost got it right. Only the blood of the Divine can raise the dead. Sometimes they use a conduit like myself, because I am half God, most of the time they do it themselves. Although I confess that Lucifer can’t do all his work alone, I fear that the Anti-Christ might already be amongst us causing trouble. No, it’s more symbolic than anything else. It’s the power invested in the blood that does the work that makes you immortal. Why do you think you ‘drink of my blood’ at mass? It’s to ensure that at the end time you will rise up again. To walk in God’s Kingdom, a world full of vampires, amen. Probably not what you were hoping for, I know. And Larry would be the first to tell me it’s not as cinematic as drinking the victims’ blood then letting them drink yours. But I never made up the rules. That, as always, is my Father’s domain.

We vampires can walk in sunlight and not be burnt, although as with all Lucifer’s minions they do their best work after dark, when man’s thoughts stray towards evil and one’s imagination is in overdrive. Lets face it you are much more likely to believe in ‘things that go bump’ during the night hours than in the harsh light of day.

Religious iconography and holy water only harm those who do the devil’s work, which I admit is the vast majority of vampires out there. So in some respect the legends are true in that regard. But while they might shy away from a crucifix because of what it represents they will not be harmed by it, not burnt nor banished.

We can cross running water easily and, if had to, eat garlic laced food before throwing it back up later. I’ve never had an urge to stop and count anything that might be thrown at my feet, like some European legends would have you believe, and I am afraid I can come uninvited into your houses anytime I wish. Not that I would, I may be ancient but I still retain some manners that my dear mother taught me.

The legends speak of our abilities to hypnotise, to mesmerise, our so called ‘prey’. How we can ‘cloud your minds’ and overpower your wills. That is true to some degree but it is more to do with age and charisma than any type of supernatural powers. Hitler could sway the masses but he was never accused of being a vampire, at least not to my knowledge.

Oh, and most important of all, we don’t have fangs, we can’t turn into a bat, wolf or mist, or change our appearance in any way. We cannot fly nor have any type of enhanced powers, like strength or speed or agility. In fact we are just like you. You’d be surprised how many of use you might pass in the street without even knowing. We retain the face and form we had at our deaths, even down to the wounds. I proved to Thomas who I was that way. It also meant I spent nearly a millennium hiding a gaping wound in my side, not to mention those damned holes in my wrists and feet. Thank goodness for modern cosmetic surgery. It now means I can go to the beach without looking absurd for wearing a long-sleeved top.

And while we might be able to walk away from horrific accidents and survive supposedly unsurvivable odds it’s only because we are already dead and therefore incapable of doing ourselves any harm. Although we do burn and quite well I might add. That is another of the little kernels of truth hidden amongst all the lies. We might look like flesh and blood but inside we’re dried up and desiccated old mummies. Easy kindling just waiting for a match.

So much for your horror movies. The ‘money-makers’ have done their jobs well. It is human nature to fear what you don’t understand, I have found that out time and time again, and the self appointed Holy Church has ensured that you will always fear what we are. What you, too, will one day become.

"Hi Joshua!"

"Hey Josh!"

I watch two children run past; they are regulars as is their mother who follows behind.

"Good evening, Joshua."

She calls me Joshua. Joshua Christopher Messenger. A tad pretentious I know but I was feeling slightly put out when I created my current identity. The world sees me as the slightly eccentric artist who spends too much time sitting on park benches instead of earning a living.

"Debbie, how are things today?"

"Same as always, you?"

"Same."

She walks away intent of keeping her children in sight. I quite like Debbie, a single parent of two and a staunch atheist. We’ve had many an interesting talk about God. I admire atheists; I admire their courage to face the universe without any support from a Deity. Still I’m sure deep down inside every one of them in a quiet little part of their souls they are fervently saying their prayers, just in case.

Larry thinks she has a crush on me. While I am fairly certain she thinks Larry and I are lovers. And contrary to Christians everywhere I don’t mind homosexuals. God does not care if the person you love is of the same sex; creed or tax bracket as long as you love unconditionally.

And what about the message? The message that the money-makers are so desperate for you to not hear? It’s simple – you are god!

Yes, you! God made Himself a part of the universe when He created it, like an artist so often puts a part of themselves into their work. And since you are a part of the universe, you are God!

He is everywhere, in the air, the sea, the land and all its plants and animals. From the most barren chunk of rock to the most verdant of jungles. He exists in you and your family, your neighbours – even in your enemy. And He’s not just on this planet, He is on every planet whether it holds life or not.

The Church does not want you to know this but you don’t need a book to bring you closer to God, you don’t need a building or a man – who has cut himself off from the common people – to tell you what to do. Priests segregate themselves from love and family thinking it brings them closer to God when, in fact, it just drives them further away. You don’t need to give money to the so called pious to get God’s attention or a ticket straight to Heaven.

No, all you need is an open mind and an open heart. God will speak directly to you, if you just listen. But they do not want you to know this, because this then cuts out the middle man – them!

This knowledge negates their reason for being, their very power over you! This is the reason they drove me way, this is the reason they created the legends of the vampires to ensure you will not listen to me even today.

But their power fades even as this day is slowly fading. I believe that humanity will one day wake up to the truth. That you will put away your violence and wars that you will learn to love others as the Father loves you. Then you will be ready for the Kingdom of Heaven and all the wonders that it holds.

Debbie and her children are leaving now and so must I. Even the Son of God runs the risk of getting mugged. I will go home to my little apartment and wait for Larry to come home. And we will wait like all the others of our kind. Wait until the day we are all as one, life eternal with my Father.